Archive for category Difficult People

Must Be Nice

Friday’s were usually Tom’s only day in the office, and typically, he’d work just a half day since he’d already put in so many hours earlier in the week.  Tom had one of those jobs that looked glamorous, but wasn’t.  He traveled every week, often to a different city every day.  His schedule was grueling.  Give presentations all day, drive to the next city, get some dinner, snag some sleep, and start over again the next day.

Though he worked in St. Louis, only one team mate, Mimi, worked with him there.  The rest of his team was in Chicago.  Another division was also located in St. Louis, so he and Mimi both had an office (cubicle) there to go on Friday’s.  Inevitably, the division manager would find a way to tease Tom when he was in the office “must be nice only having to come into the office only one day a week and then make that a half day.  We should all be so lucky.”

Mimi witnessed this for about a year.  She supported Tom and gave him ideas on how to deal with (or let go of) the situation, but Tom kept letting it get under his skin.  Tom was promoted and moved out of that office.  The search began, but the division manager wasn’t waiting.  The very next time that Mimi ran into him, he said to her “must be nice only having to come into the office only one day a week.  Wish I had that job.”

Mimi excitedly replied “You can! We have an opening right now that you can apply for!”  Everyone laughed and the division manager never picked on Mimi again.

Sometimes the best way to get rid of a little garbage is to use a little wit and humor.  Instead of battling people to prove your point, try going in the same direction.

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Bad Attitude in Three Short Stories

I just found these stories.  I’d saved it under a title that I’m sure made sense at the time, but upon recall, it made me think it was a different document.

Background – all three of these encounters happen the same morning, in the same building, for the same organization.

Scene 1 – I arrive to teach a seminar about Flex Spending Accounts.  My mood is set, I feel great because I’m speaking and training today.  I’m especially pumped because I love the thrill of applying my inspirational approach to financial matters that people expect to be boring (I have a financial services background).  I enter the building and check in with security.  A guard takes me to my first encounter.

In introduce myself to the leader who looks put out.  She starts by treating me like I am a criminal or have done something wrong.  Angrily she says:  “I don’t know who you are!”  She didn’t hide that she was annoyed and put out.  She next challenged me as though I was lying “who sent you here?  Who are you supposed to see?  I thought this was Insurance, nobody told me you are here!”  What’s flex spending?!

Scene 2 – The insurance rep and I (we’d both been invited by the main office) were in a conference room to answer questions one-on-one.  The first employee that the Insurance rep (we were both scheduled for the day) had to deal with wanted the rep to make the changes for her.  The rep didn’t have a laptop with her and the employee got snippy “your website doesn’t work!”  The rep tried to verbally get the woman to come back to find out what the problem was.  The woman was determined to be a snot and turned her back on the rep and walked out ignoring the pleas of the insurance rep to try to identify the problem to fix it.

Scene 3 – It is lunch time and I am in the employee cafeteria.  Across the table from me is a woman who’s just sat down with her lunch.  “This is a hamburger without the bun!!!”  She was angry, you could tell she felt cheated.  “They call this a patty melt!  What the hell is that?!  It’s a hamburger without the bun.  By law this is a hamburger with no bun, everybody knows that!”  She slams her food around looking hateful and angry.

This is the GarbageFactor™ in toxic doses.  This whole building needs to be wrapped in a quarantine tent and a dose of attitude adjustment pumped in.  Seriously folks, I’m sure many of you have worked in an environment like this, but what makes me so passionate about this one is that it was an elementary school.  The “leader” was the school principal.  The other two scenes were with teachers.  This is crazy.  No one should have to work with people with attitudes this bad, never mind subject our kids to it.

I have an assignment today.  Look in the mirror and ask yourself if you are behaving like one of these people.  If you are, find out what the cause is.  This is beyond bad attitude, this is toxic behavior.  If you need to get out, find a new job as fast as you can.  If you need a break, take it.  If you need to learn how to deal with the problem, take a seminar.  If you need a shrink, find one.  Whatever you do, take some positive action because everyone around you is being infected and you won’t be able to break the cycle of negativity until you do something different.

If you’re working in this kind of environment, your solutions are the same.  If you need to get out, find a new job as fast as you can.  If you need a break, take it.  If you need to learn how to deal with the problem, take a seminar or read a book (mine is a great pick http://shop.marianmadonia.com).  If you need a shrink, find one.

Whatever you do, take some positive action because everyone around you is being infected and you won’t be able to break the cycle of negativity until you do something different.  If you are in a leadership position and this describes your environment, don’t go it alone if you’re not trained in turning this type of situation around.  Bring in a consultant who specializes in workplace relationships (I know a few, so let me know if you need a referral).  If you think a seminar or program would help, that’s my specialty (check out my video’s at http://youtube.com/marianmadonia).  And if you need it, contact an arbitrator to help resolve conflict in specific relationships.

We all want to work in a job that has as little garbage as possible.  What can you do today to reduce it?

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No More Garbage Tip #2 – Stuck?

When you don’t know what to do, you won’t until you learn something new.  Use a lack of answers as a trigger to go learn something new so that you can find the answers.  Don’t know how to pay for your kid’s education?  Learn everything you can about financing college.  Having trouble with a relationship?  Learn everything that you can about dealing with people and communicating.  Having trouble with a boss?  Learn how to deal with difficult people.

If you can’t wait to hear all 90 ways to deal with garbage, you can always order the book.

Book "No More Garbage: 90 Ways to Deal with Change, Challenges & Chaos

Book "No More Garbage: 90 Ways to Deal with Change, Challenges & Chaos

Thank you for being a fan of the GarbageFactor.  Get $2 off “No More Garbage” by using this special coupon code,  garbage09.  It will ask you for the code at the end when you enter payment info.  Here’s the link to get the book: http://shop.marianmadonia.com/product.sc?productId=1

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