The GarbageFactor™

Because Employee Engagement is not about the money!

Archive for category Miscellaneous

Bad Attitude in Three Short Stories

Sep 23

Posted by Marian Madonia in Attitude, Difficult People, GarbageFactor, Miscellaneous, Stress in the Workplace, Team Work, Toxic Environments | Comments off

I just found these stories.  I’d saved it under a title that I’m sure made sense at the time, but upon recall, it made me think it was a different document.

Background – all three of these encounters happen the same morning, in the same building, for the same organization.

Scene 1 – I arrive to teach a seminar about Flex Spending Accounts.  My mood is set, I feel great because I’m speaking and training today.  I’m especially pumped because I love the thrill of applying my inspirational approach to financial matters that people expect to be boring (I have a financial services background).  I enter the building and check in with security.  A guard takes me to my first encounter.

In introduce myself to the leader who looks put out.  She starts by treating me like I am a criminal or have done something wrong.  Angrily she says:  “I don’t know who you are!”  She didn’t hide that she was annoyed and put out.  She next challenged me as though I was lying “who sent you here?  Who are you supposed to see?  I thought this was Insurance, nobody told me you are here!”  What’s flex spending?!

Scene 2 – The insurance rep and I (we’d both been invited by the main office) were in a conference room to answer questions one-on-one.  The first employee that the Insurance rep (we were both scheduled for the day) had to deal with wanted the rep to make the changes for her.  The rep didn’t have a laptop with her and the employee got snippy “your website doesn’t work!”  The rep tried to verbally get the woman to come back to find out what the problem was.  The woman was determined to be a snot and turned her back on the rep and walked out ignoring the pleas of the insurance rep to try to identify the problem to fix it.

Scene 3 – It is lunch time and I am in the employee cafeteria.  Across the table from me is a woman who’s just sat down with her lunch.  “This is a hamburger without the bun!!!”  She was angry, you could tell she felt cheated.  “They call this a patty melt!  What the hell is that?!  It’s a hamburger without the bun.  By law this is a hamburger with no bun, everybody knows that!”  She slams her food around looking hateful and angry.

This is the GarbageFactor™ in toxic doses.  This whole building needs to be wrapped in a quarantine tent and a dose of attitude adjustment pumped in.  Seriously folks, I’m sure many of you have worked in an environment like this, but what makes me so passionate about this one is that it was an elementary school.  The “leader” was the school principal.  The other two scenes were with teachers.  This is crazy.  No one should have to work with people with attitudes this bad, never mind subject our kids to it.

I have an assignment today.  Look in the mirror and ask yourself if you are behaving like one of these people.  If you are, find out what the cause is.  This is beyond bad attitude, this is toxic behavior.  If you need to get out, find a new job as fast as you can.  If you need a break, take it.  If you need to learn how to deal with the problem, take a seminar.  If you need a shrink, find one.  Whatever you do, take some positive action because everyone around you is being infected and you won’t be able to break the cycle of negativity until you do something different.

If you’re working in this kind of environment, your solutions are the same.  If you need to get out, find a new job as fast as you can.  If you need a break, take it.  If you need to learn how to deal with the problem, take a seminar or read a book (mine is a great pick http://shop.marianmadonia.com).  If you need a shrink, find one.

Whatever you do, take some positive action because everyone around you is being infected and you won’t be able to break the cycle of negativity until you do something different.  If you are in a leadership position and this describes your environment, don’t go it alone if you’re not trained in turning this type of situation around.  Bring in a consultant who specializes in workplace relationships (I know a few, so let me know if you need a referral).  If you think a seminar or program would help, that’s my specialty (check out my video’s at http://youtube.com/marianmadonia).  And if you need it, contact an arbitrator to help resolve conflict in specific relationships.

We all want to work in a job that has as little garbage as possible.  What can you do today to reduce it?

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Why have we given employers the right to check our credit?

Sep 22

Posted by Marian Madonia in GarbageFactor, Job Hunt, Miscellaneous | 1 Comment

What on earth does an employee’s credit rating have to do with his or her ability to do a job? This issue has long made me hot under the collar.  Seeing another article about it hasn’t made me any less angry.

Is my employer going to give me a loan?  Are they going to finance my house?  Will I get a bonus if I qualify?

Here’s the link to the article I read.  I want to draw your attention to the second section of the article where it talks about the potential for credit checks to be considered a discriminatory practice.  Go ahead and check it out, I’ll wait here for you.

http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/bus/stories/DN-perfi_21bus.ART.State.Edition1.3cf45d2.html

In the position I had right before my last layoff, I was a training manager and worked in the Human Resources Department.  As I mentioned, it was 1990.  It’s nearly 20 years later, but we knew back then that using credit reports was potentially discriminatory and that it had nothing to do with a person’s ability to do a job.  Why aren’t we completely up in arms about the use of credit reports in job screening?

When an employee is interviewed for a job, the employer has one obligation and that it to find the best suited candidate.  Credit rating, credit history, or anything else to do with money matters has nothing to do with the employee’s suitability or ability to do the job.  It is a lame excuse and unfounded belief that someone with financial issues will be more likely to embezzle or steal or be distracted from performing well.  I have had the unfortunate experience of working with people who were fired for embezzling or theft (and yes, some received jail time).  We all know a few now very public people who have embezzled, stolen, or used Ponzi type schemes to take money from others.  As we learned from their wealth, these people didn’t have money problems, they had ethical problems.  If employer’s want to sort us out, sort us out by character not because of our financial situation.

Quite frankly, I have always thought our credit history is none of an employer’s business.  I find an employer’s pursuit of our credit history more insulting given the current economic climate.

People often lump people with bad credit into a single category and assume that their credit problem is due to being a deadbeat.  To be sure, there are deadbeats out there.  But the majority of bankruptcy cases in this country are due to excessive medical expenses.  In June, CNN referenced a report that will be in the “The American Journal of Medicine” in August, “Bankruptcies due to medical bills increased by nearly 50 percent in a six-year period, from 46 percent in 2001 to 62 percent in 2007…” http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/06/05/bankruptcy.medical.bills/

Any one of us can fall onto hard times due to the economy, layoff, divorce, illness (us or a family member) medical bills, death, or some other financial tragedy (have we forgotten Katrina?).  I’ve read more than one article that suggests that the majority of Americans are one paycheck away from default (feel free to send me stats outside the US).

I have been through two layoffs in my career.  Both times, I was working for financial institutions.  Both times, I was laid off the week before Thanksgiving.  This is a time when few people are changing jobs, so job prospects are dim except for a holiday retail job.  Each layoff, I spent 4 months unemployed which seems trivial compared to the length of time that people have been unemployed in this latest economic downturn.  Four months was enough to cause problems that took me years to get out from under.  The second layoff was my worst.  The economy was down again (1990).  I couldn’t get more than 16 hours a week as holiday labor.  I’d not recovered from the first layoff.  I was living in the Washington DC suburbs, and even though I had a screaming deal on my basement apartment ($400 a month), my monthly unemployment check of $360 didn’t cover it, never mind other living expenses.  By February, my credit was tapped out and I was behind on payments to every creditor. My savings account had been closed, my checking balance was under $1, and I had only $5 cash to my name.  I couldn’t have been more grateful when I got a job offer.

I’ll repeat that, I couldn’t have been more grateful.  Does that sound like an employee who is going to do a poor job for a company?

The practice of checking credit as an employment condition needs to be abolished.  The article referenced that U.S. Rep. Steve Cohen, D-Tenn. supports legislation that would prohibit using credit reports for employment purposes.  I called his office, and they said he did indeed support it.  The Bill is HR3149 Equal Employment for All Act.  I’m writing Congressman Cohen to give him my support for this Bill.  If you’d like to write him in support of the bill, here is his address information:

Washington, D.C.

1005 Longworth House

Office Building

Washington, DC 20515

I finished my letter before finishing this post.  All unnecessary barriers to becoming gainfully employed need to be removed.  Employers don’t need our credit history in order to determine our ability to do a job.

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Sometimes, YOU have to come first

Sep 9

Posted by Marian Madonia in GarbageFactor, Miscellaneous | Comments off

Sorry I’ve been gone a few days.  I found myself on the receiving end of “one thing after another.”  I guess it was just my turn.  Life kind of does that sometimes, doesn’t it?

I’m not going to get into the hairy details now, I’ll save them for other posts.  But one thing has stood out about all this.  I needed to stop and take care of myself.  I started to get sick, I had a fever for 2 days straight.  I’d planned (as usual) on working through the weekend.  The fever made me realize that though I didn’t want to let people down or to stop my momentum, I just had to take a break.  So, it’s now a couple of days into the new week, I’m getting my groove back and getting caught up.  It feels like fall outside and though I love summer, I ADORE how good fall feels (and smells) once it comes.

New posts starting tomorrow, but if you don’t have time to read, I understand.  Tomorrow might be the day that YOU need to come first.

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There Goes the Neighborhood!

Aug 27

Posted by Marian Madonia in Attitude, Communication, GarbageFactor, Miscellaneous | Comments off

What is happening to the neighborhood?  My neighbors are up in arms right now because every time they walk by my house…I’m friendly.

I’ve lived in my neighborhood for the past 8 years.  I know 4 of my neighbors (4 couples, 8 people). If I ran into them at the grocery store, I’d actually recognize them and be able to call them by name (o.k., I can’t remember the name of one woman, but I know her by sight).

I live in a very cool old Tudor house that my nephew refers to as the “gingerbread house.”  Seriously, it’s just missing the gum drops and icing snow.  The neighborhood was built in the 30’s when households had 1 car and you needed to walk everywhere to get what you needed.  So, two blocks away, is a neighborhood shopping district where there are several restaurants, two drycleaners, a movie rental place (a local owner, not a major chain), a flower shop, a coffee shop, and various other little businesses.

So everyone here walks and most of them walk their dogs.  I’ve never seen so many people that own dogs.  Stranger still is how many of them own boxers.  I mean, boxers are not exactly the most popular breed of dog.  There are still lots of people that think mine is a pit bull or a bull dog).  But my neighborhood has more than 8 boxers.

Now, I recall that people like the idea of having something in common with another person.  When people find out I’m half Sicilian, anyone who has a Sicilian background lights up and starts talking to me more.  When I ride my motorcycle, other people on motorcycles wave as they drive by, and if we’re at a gas station together, we’ll chat a bit about where we’re headed that day.  And of course, when I meet people and tell them I write about the GarbageFactor™, they have to tell me their story about the garbage (usually bad bosses, stress, and negativity) that happens in their workplace.

All of these conversations happen more animatedly.  People’s body language goes from closed to open.  Their eyes light up, and they tend to smile more.  And of course, we always share a few laughs about our commonality.

So what is wrong with my neighbors?  The ones that have boxers don’t want to stop and share stories.  They just plain don’t want to stop and have to be friendly.  Their body language saddens me.  I can see they want to leave.  I let them.  I feel a little down after, because this is completely messed up.  I know it, but what can a person do?

I live on the corner.  The neighbor across the street has never introduced him/herself to me.  That’s right, I’m not sure if a man or a woman lives there.  I’ve never caught the person outside.  The neighbors diagonally across the street moved in a couple years ago and have never stopped to say hello.  They leave from their back door and go directly to their car without looking up.  The same can be said for the neighbors diagonally behind me.  I’ve met the neighbors directly behind me.  I don’t know their names though.  They keep to themselves.  All, but the 4 neighbors I’ve mentioned, keep to themselves.

6 feet.  I did an experiment for a couple of weeks.  I decided I would stop saying “hello” and see how close neighbors could get to me without saying anything.  The answer is 6 feet.  They could get within 6 feet and still look straight forward, ignore my presence, and keep on walking.  I don’t want to try any closer than that.  Then I’d be the weirdo.  Measure out 6 feet to see how close that is.  How is that people can be within that range of each other (not total strangers, neighbors) and not reach out and say hello?

Quite frankly, I’m pretty disgusted by it.  I’m super friendly and super outgoing.  I make friends everywhere I go, except my neighborhood.  I started talking to friends about this, because I thought this was exclusive to my neighborhood.  My friends all say they are having similar experiences.  They live all across the country in places like Virginia, DC, Colorado, Florida, and Oregon.  Some live in the city, some live in the suburbs.  I feel better knowing it’s happening everywhere, but on another level, it makes me feel worse that as a society, we are closing ourselves off.

What’s happened to us?  Having a nosy neighbor can be annoying, but did we have to swing the pendulum all the way to the other side to where we’ve become indifferent?

I’m trying a different experiment now.  I’m saying “hello” to every neighbor that walks by, and I’m doing it with all the enthusiasm and energy that I can muster.  One of my friends said “you’re going to get known as the eccentric.”  I think that was supposed to be a warning that my next stop was the old spinster cat lady.  So I’m known as an eccentric.  There are worse things people could call me.  And besides, I think it’s better to be considered eccentric because I’m friendly instead of because I’m a hermit.

So, you’ll know you’ve found my house when you pass by and hear an enthusiastic “HI THERE!!!”  Maybe your neighborhood could use an eccentric like me.  I can’t move, so maybe we can all try this experiment together.  Be the eccentric in your neighborhood.  Be friendly to everyone that walks by.  See what happens, and let me know how it goes in your neighborhood.

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Sometimes Garbage Just Happens

Aug 25

Posted by Marian Madonia in Attitude, Miscellaneous | Comments off

Sometimes garbage just happens, and you have to decide if you are going to wallow in it, shovel yourself out of it, or recycle & reuse it.  I’ve taken advantage of all three options at different times in my life.

This past Saturday, I decided to take myself out to dinner as a reward for dealing with a lot more garbage that had dumped in my lap than I’d expected.  I’d hoped to be celebrating 2 straight weeks of blogging, but as I missed Friday because of the garbage dump, I couldn’t claim that.  I had, however, still earned myself a dinner out.

After leisurely dining (and catching up on some reading), I headed for home.  Only my car didn’t comply.  I put the key in the ignition, got a dashboard full of lights, but that was it.  No click, no turnover, no anything…just lights.  I went through my limited list of options (make sure the car is in park, put my foot on the break peddle, checked the battery cables) and found that nothing made a difference.  She (the car) wasn’t moving.

I thought about my options.  I’ve got AAA, but where do I have them take the car?  All the repair places would be closed tomorrow.  I didn’t want to leave my car in any of their lots when no one would be there.  My reliable mechanic is 110 miles away.  That’s not a misprint.  I use this small shop in southeast Kansas.  I use him because he’s reasonable (what one shop charges $1000 for, he usually charges $500 for).  But better than that, I’ve NEVER had to bring my car back to him.  What he fixes is really fixed.  He maintains my car so well, that in 5 years, I’ve not needed a local shop.  I knew eventually things would have to change and I’d have to get a local place, after all, my car is now 15 years old.  I guess that “eventually” was now here.

I decided to think on it and make a decision on Sunday.  I checked with the restaurant on what the staff thought of the relative safety of my car.  The feedback was that since I was on a main street, and the police are usually at the mini-mart across the street, that I should be fine.

Now to get home.  I was about a mile from home.  The weather was good, it wasn’t too late, and I had comfortable shoes on, so I decided to walk home.  Besides, it would take longer for a cab to get there than it would take for me to walk it.  With 20 minutes to think on the way home, my mind started going through my options on fixing the car.  It also started going through whether I’d done the right thing by leaving my car parked on the street.  It’s not a bad neighborhood, but it’s not great.  I live in a mid-town type of area, and it has its share of crime (that’s why the cops are at the mini-mart all night).

In between going over my options for repair, I argued with myself about the safety of my car.  At home, I park it in my garage because that is the safest place.  I do not park on the street in my own neighborhood because of how many neighbors cars have been broken into or stolen.  The internal arguments went something like this “Why would they want your car?  It’s 15 years old” “Yeah, but it’s a cool car (in my eyes…it’s a Dodge Avenger)”  “A thief will want something easier to sell” “Somebody already tried to steal it once!”

Just as I was about to make the turn down my street, the absurdity of my argument hit me and I burst out laughing.  “How on earth is someone going to steal my car when I can’t even get it started?!”

So, garbage happens.  Sometimes we wallow in it, sometimes we start shoveling it out, and sometimes we recycle & reuse it.  Saturday night, I did all of the above.

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The Three Biggest Lies Told to Children

Aug 14

Posted by Marian Madonia in Miscellaneous | Comments off

Lie #1 – “Sticks and stones will break your bones but names will never hurt you.”

Name calling is hysterical on TV, and it rolls off your back when it’s a stranger.  But, when someone important to you calls you names, the hurt lasts longer than any stick thrown.

Lie #2 – “When you grow up….”

Most people don’t grow up.  Too often, they quit playing and having fun, but they keep doing the same manipulative, cliquey, bullying games you experienced in childhood.  When we’re adults, we just call it “politics”.

Lie #3 – “You grow out of zits.”

Lying to us about this is just plain mean.

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The Beginning!

Feb 6

Posted by Marian Madonia in Miscellaneous | 2 Comments

I made the leap and started my blog.  I miss writing.  It feels good to see my thoughts appear across the page.  After a long search for my lost creativity, I’m enjoying its return.

I admit, it’s pretty late and I’m exhausted.  I’m now 14 weeks out of surgery, but still feel the fatigue.  I’m looking forward to the endless energy I used to have (o.k., I’m exaggerating, it wasn’t endless, but I had a lot more energy than I do now).  The surgeon’s assistant told me it takes about 6 months.  She said I’d look back and realize that I feel like my old self again.  Timing wise, that could be pretty good.  Just in time for spring.

We’ve got a preview of that in Kansas City.  Today, tomorrow and the next day are supposed to be in the high 60’s (around 14C).  I do indeed have spring fever.  My motorcycle is calling.  Though I still haven’t gotten it into the shop to get the dent fixed, it is most certainly rideable and guarantees me an attitude pick-me-up.  I’m looking forward to having the wind in my hair again.

Until next time…Live, Laugh, Learn and Never Give Up!

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