Posts Tagged bully

Bad Attitude in Three Short Stories

I just found these stories.  I’d saved it under a title that I’m sure made sense at the time, but upon recall, it made me think it was a different document.

Background – all three of these encounters happen the same morning, in the same building, for the same organization.

Scene 1 – I arrive to teach a seminar about Flex Spending Accounts.  My mood is set, I feel great because I’m speaking and training today.  I’m especially pumped because I love the thrill of applying my inspirational approach to financial matters that people expect to be boring (I have a financial services background).  I enter the building and check in with security.  A guard takes me to my first encounter.

In introduce myself to the leader who looks put out.  She starts by treating me like I am a criminal or have done something wrong.  Angrily she says:  “I don’t know who you are!”  She didn’t hide that she was annoyed and put out.  She next challenged me as though I was lying “who sent you here?  Who are you supposed to see?  I thought this was Insurance, nobody told me you are here!”  What’s flex spending?!

Scene 2 – The insurance rep and I (we’d both been invited by the main office) were in a conference room to answer questions one-on-one.  The first employee that the Insurance rep (we were both scheduled for the day) had to deal with wanted the rep to make the changes for her.  The rep didn’t have a laptop with her and the employee got snippy “your website doesn’t work!”  The rep tried to verbally get the woman to come back to find out what the problem was.  The woman was determined to be a snot and turned her back on the rep and walked out ignoring the pleas of the insurance rep to try to identify the problem to fix it.

Scene 3 – It is lunch time and I am in the employee cafeteria.  Across the table from me is a woman who’s just sat down with her lunch.  “This is a hamburger without the bun!!!”  She was angry, you could tell she felt cheated.  “They call this a patty melt!  What the hell is that?!  It’s a hamburger without the bun.  By law this is a hamburger with no bun, everybody knows that!”  She slams her food around looking hateful and angry.

This is the GarbageFactor™ in toxic doses.  This whole building needs to be wrapped in a quarantine tent and a dose of attitude adjustment pumped in.  Seriously folks, I’m sure many of you have worked in an environment like this, but what makes me so passionate about this one is that it was an elementary school.  The “leader” was the school principal.  The other two scenes were with teachers.  This is crazy.  No one should have to work with people with attitudes this bad, never mind subject our kids to it.

I have an assignment today.  Look in the mirror and ask yourself if you are behaving like one of these people.  If you are, find out what the cause is.  This is beyond bad attitude, this is toxic behavior.  If you need to get out, find a new job as fast as you can.  If you need a break, take it.  If you need to learn how to deal with the problem, take a seminar.  If you need a shrink, find one.  Whatever you do, take some positive action because everyone around you is being infected and you won’t be able to break the cycle of negativity until you do something different.

If you’re working in this kind of environment, your solutions are the same.  If you need to get out, find a new job as fast as you can.  If you need a break, take it.  If you need to learn how to deal with the problem, take a seminar or read a book (mine is a great pick http://shop.marianmadonia.com).  If you need a shrink, find one.

Whatever you do, take some positive action because everyone around you is being infected and you won’t be able to break the cycle of negativity until you do something different.  If you are in a leadership position and this describes your environment, don’t go it alone if you’re not trained in turning this type of situation around.  Bring in a consultant who specializes in workplace relationships (I know a few, so let me know if you need a referral).  If you think a seminar or program would help, that’s my specialty (check out my video’s at http://youtube.com/marianmadonia).  And if you need it, contact an arbitrator to help resolve conflict in specific relationships.

We all want to work in a job that has as little garbage as possible.  What can you do today to reduce it?

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Do we really need a “law” for people to know bullying is unacceptable?

I just watched this clip about bullying in the workplace.  Marsha Petrie Sue and I met this past May.  The topic of her new book, Toxic People, is one I’m fascinated with since toxic people are such a big part of the GarbageFactor™ .  Check it out below, and while you’re watching, think about who the “bullies” are/were in your life.

 

It’s disappointing to hear the stories.  Women seem to get the award for the most workplace bullying.  Looking at my own personal experiences, as a kid I was bullied by both genders, but as an adult, I’ve only been bullied by women.  I’d like to say it isn’t so, but now I’m curious about other people’s stories and whether they differ by generation.

If bullying is as common as the report implies, then I’m even more confused about the reporter’s closing comments “According to the United Nations International Labor Organization, workplace bullying often goes un-reported and since it isn’t illegal, when reported, employers rarely take action.”

Why on earth do we have to have something made illegal for people to realize it’s wrong!  And why does Human Resources have to add insult to injury by issuing a 25 page manual for the 1% of employees who are a problem.  That’s a waste of energy and resources.  Everyone knows that the 1% with the problem don’t know that the manual was written for them, and the rest of us know better and don’t appreciate training on policies we don’t need.  Have we really gotten to the point in this society where we don’t think or hold people accountable for unacceptable behavior?

Hello?!  Snap out of it people.  Bullying is wrong.  Bullying is hurtful.  Did I tell you anything you didn’t already know?  No, of course I didn’t.  We don’t need a manual or a law.

Note to employers – If you’ve got bullying going on, you owe it to your company to create an environment conducive to productivity (that’s right, getting rid of bullying helps your bottom line).  The added bonus is you create a pleasant environment in which people can actually work without “added” stress.  Don’t wait for a law or a policy, just stop the bullying. 

 

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