The GarbageFactor™

Because Employee Engagement is not about the money!

Posts Tagged stress

I can’t do it all no matter how badly I want to

Mar 2

Posted by Marian Madonia in Thoughts | No Comments

Well, I did it.  I took 3 months off of this blog.  It didn’t start out that way.  It started out that I needed a couple of days off.  I was doing too much too fast.  I’ve actually had thousands of ideas, and those ideas along with everything else on my plate overwhelmed me.  How could I get it all done?  I need several Twitter posts a day, a blog post a day, keep up-to-date on Facebook and LinkedIn, edit more video to post on YouTube, write several articles a month, actively market my business, look for regular opportunities for PR, schedule time for networking events, get to work on my new book, develop new material for speeches & seminars, design several webcasts, look into podcasting for my blog, read several new books a month, and then spend time with my dog, decorate & rehab my old house, make new friends so I have a social life, keep my house clean, start exercising again, and have a few hobbies so I have “balance.”  And what many of you don’t know is that I also still hold down a full-time job.

Sometimes, we create our own GarbageFactor.  So what I’m realizing is that I have to make choices.  You eat an elephant one bite at a time and that’s how I’ll get these things done.  My pup comes first, because he relies on me for all his care.  Next needs to come me.  I’m not sure what that’s going to look like yet, but don’t worry, I’m at my best when I’m on stage telling stories, helping you learn, and making you laugh.  I just might have to slow down on the writing

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Must Be Nice

Sep 25

Posted by Marian Madonia in Attitude, Communication, Difficult People, GarbageFactor, Managers, Stress in the Workplace, Team Work | Comments off

Friday’s were usually Tom’s only day in the office, and typically, he’d work just a half day since he’d already put in so many hours earlier in the week.  Tom had one of those jobs that looked glamorous, but wasn’t.  He traveled every week, often to a different city every day.  His schedule was grueling.  Give presentations all day, drive to the next city, get some dinner, snag some sleep, and start over again the next day.

Though he worked in St. Louis, only one team mate, Mimi, worked with him there.  The rest of his team was in Chicago.  Another division was also located in St. Louis, so he and Mimi both had an office (cubicle) there to go on Friday’s.  Inevitably, the division manager would find a way to tease Tom when he was in the office “must be nice only having to come into the office only one day a week and then make that a half day.  We should all be so lucky.”

Mimi witnessed this for about a year.  She supported Tom and gave him ideas on how to deal with (or let go of) the situation, but Tom kept letting it get under his skin.  Tom was promoted and moved out of that office.  The search began, but the division manager wasn’t waiting.  The very next time that Mimi ran into him, he said to her “must be nice only having to come into the office only one day a week.  Wish I had that job.”

Mimi excitedly replied “You can! We have an opening right now that you can apply for!”  Everyone laughed and the division manager never picked on Mimi again.

Sometimes the best way to get rid of a little garbage is to use a little wit and humor.  Instead of battling people to prove your point, try going in the same direction.

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Bad Attitude in Three Short Stories

Sep 23

Posted by Marian Madonia in Attitude, Difficult People, GarbageFactor, Miscellaneous, Stress in the Workplace, Team Work, Toxic Environments | Comments off

I just found these stories.  I’d saved it under a title that I’m sure made sense at the time, but upon recall, it made me think it was a different document.

Background – all three of these encounters happen the same morning, in the same building, for the same organization.

Scene 1 – I arrive to teach a seminar about Flex Spending Accounts.  My mood is set, I feel great because I’m speaking and training today.  I’m especially pumped because I love the thrill of applying my inspirational approach to financial matters that people expect to be boring (I have a financial services background).  I enter the building and check in with security.  A guard takes me to my first encounter.

In introduce myself to the leader who looks put out.  She starts by treating me like I am a criminal or have done something wrong.  Angrily she says:  “I don’t know who you are!”  She didn’t hide that she was annoyed and put out.  She next challenged me as though I was lying “who sent you here?  Who are you supposed to see?  I thought this was Insurance, nobody told me you are here!”  What’s flex spending?!

Scene 2 – The insurance rep and I (we’d both been invited by the main office) were in a conference room to answer questions one-on-one.  The first employee that the Insurance rep (we were both scheduled for the day) had to deal with wanted the rep to make the changes for her.  The rep didn’t have a laptop with her and the employee got snippy “your website doesn’t work!”  The rep tried to verbally get the woman to come back to find out what the problem was.  The woman was determined to be a snot and turned her back on the rep and walked out ignoring the pleas of the insurance rep to try to identify the problem to fix it.

Scene 3 – It is lunch time and I am in the employee cafeteria.  Across the table from me is a woman who’s just sat down with her lunch.  “This is a hamburger without the bun!!!”  She was angry, you could tell she felt cheated.  “They call this a patty melt!  What the hell is that?!  It’s a hamburger without the bun.  By law this is a hamburger with no bun, everybody knows that!”  She slams her food around looking hateful and angry.

This is the GarbageFactor™ in toxic doses.  This whole building needs to be wrapped in a quarantine tent and a dose of attitude adjustment pumped in.  Seriously folks, I’m sure many of you have worked in an environment like this, but what makes me so passionate about this one is that it was an elementary school.  The “leader” was the school principal.  The other two scenes were with teachers.  This is crazy.  No one should have to work with people with attitudes this bad, never mind subject our kids to it.

I have an assignment today.  Look in the mirror and ask yourself if you are behaving like one of these people.  If you are, find out what the cause is.  This is beyond bad attitude, this is toxic behavior.  If you need to get out, find a new job as fast as you can.  If you need a break, take it.  If you need to learn how to deal with the problem, take a seminar.  If you need a shrink, find one.  Whatever you do, take some positive action because everyone around you is being infected and you won’t be able to break the cycle of negativity until you do something different.

If you’re working in this kind of environment, your solutions are the same.  If you need to get out, find a new job as fast as you can.  If you need a break, take it.  If you need to learn how to deal with the problem, take a seminar or read a book (mine is a great pick http://shop.marianmadonia.com).  If you need a shrink, find one.

Whatever you do, take some positive action because everyone around you is being infected and you won’t be able to break the cycle of negativity until you do something different.  If you are in a leadership position and this describes your environment, don’t go it alone if you’re not trained in turning this type of situation around.  Bring in a consultant who specializes in workplace relationships (I know a few, so let me know if you need a referral).  If you think a seminar or program would help, that’s my specialty (check out my video’s at http://youtube.com/marianmadonia).  And if you need it, contact an arbitrator to help resolve conflict in specific relationships.

We all want to work in a job that has as little garbage as possible.  What can you do today to reduce it?

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No More Garbage – Tip #1

Aug 28

Posted by Marian Madonia in Tips from Marian's book "No More Garbage" | Comments off

Bad things are going to happen.  You are going to have good days and you are going to have bad days.  The best thing that you can do for yourself is to accept that garbage happens.  You are not going to be able to get rid of garbage or prevent garbage.  Spend your energy learning how to move forward.

If you can’t wait to hear the 90 ways, you can always order the book itself.  Here’s a special coupon code, garbage09, for being a fan of the GarbageFactor.  It will ask you for the code at the end when you enter payment info.  Here’s the link to get the book: http://shop.marianmadonia.com/product.sc?productId=1

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Sometimes Garbage Just Happens

Aug 25

Posted by Marian Madonia in Attitude, Miscellaneous | Comments off

Sometimes garbage just happens, and you have to decide if you are going to wallow in it, shovel yourself out of it, or recycle & reuse it.  I’ve taken advantage of all three options at different times in my life.

This past Saturday, I decided to take myself out to dinner as a reward for dealing with a lot more garbage that had dumped in my lap than I’d expected.  I’d hoped to be celebrating 2 straight weeks of blogging, but as I missed Friday because of the garbage dump, I couldn’t claim that.  I had, however, still earned myself a dinner out.

After leisurely dining (and catching up on some reading), I headed for home.  Only my car didn’t comply.  I put the key in the ignition, got a dashboard full of lights, but that was it.  No click, no turnover, no anything…just lights.  I went through my limited list of options (make sure the car is in park, put my foot on the break peddle, checked the battery cables) and found that nothing made a difference.  She (the car) wasn’t moving.

I thought about my options.  I’ve got AAA, but where do I have them take the car?  All the repair places would be closed tomorrow.  I didn’t want to leave my car in any of their lots when no one would be there.  My reliable mechanic is 110 miles away.  That’s not a misprint.  I use this small shop in southeast Kansas.  I use him because he’s reasonable (what one shop charges $1000 for, he usually charges $500 for).  But better than that, I’ve NEVER had to bring my car back to him.  What he fixes is really fixed.  He maintains my car so well, that in 5 years, I’ve not needed a local shop.  I knew eventually things would have to change and I’d have to get a local place, after all, my car is now 15 years old.  I guess that “eventually” was now here.

I decided to think on it and make a decision on Sunday.  I checked with the restaurant on what the staff thought of the relative safety of my car.  The feedback was that since I was on a main street, and the police are usually at the mini-mart across the street, that I should be fine.

Now to get home.  I was about a mile from home.  The weather was good, it wasn’t too late, and I had comfortable shoes on, so I decided to walk home.  Besides, it would take longer for a cab to get there than it would take for me to walk it.  With 20 minutes to think on the way home, my mind started going through my options on fixing the car.  It also started going through whether I’d done the right thing by leaving my car parked on the street.  It’s not a bad neighborhood, but it’s not great.  I live in a mid-town type of area, and it has its share of crime (that’s why the cops are at the mini-mart all night).

In between going over my options for repair, I argued with myself about the safety of my car.  At home, I park it in my garage because that is the safest place.  I do not park on the street in my own neighborhood because of how many neighbors cars have been broken into or stolen.  The internal arguments went something like this “Why would they want your car?  It’s 15 years old” “Yeah, but it’s a cool car (in my eyes…it’s a Dodge Avenger)”  “A thief will want something easier to sell” “Somebody already tried to steal it once!”

Just as I was about to make the turn down my street, the absurdity of my argument hit me and I burst out laughing.  “How on earth is someone going to steal my car when I can’t even get it started?!”

So, garbage happens.  Sometimes we wallow in it, sometimes we start shoveling it out, and sometimes we recycle & reuse it.  Saturday night, I did all of the above.

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